Dear Parents, Grandparents, and Guardians of the Children of Today,
I am going to share with you a few things that been on my mind strongly, as of late. I hope that you will take this into consideration and reflect upon yourself, how you interact with the children in your world, and how you can empower them to become who they have been designed to be.
I have the supreme privilege of working with today’s youth in many different capacities – as a teacher, as a Healer, and as a mother. Over the years that I have been honored with the title of “Mom,” I’ve made it my first priority to understand children and do everything in my power to support them in their development. This commitment has made it so that my eyes have been honed to truly see today’s kids and I gotta tell ya! WOW! They are amazing!
Far too many times, I have heard the older generations – especially the generation of my parents and beyond – complaining about how difficult kids are these days. Truth is, they are not difficult. They are simply… different. Understanding that is the first step in understanding “kids these days.” First and foremost, I’d like to say this: it isn’t them that need to change; it’s you. How you perceive these children is how you experience them. If you see them as rebellious, disrespectful, rude quitters, then that is what you’ll experience. If you see them as the magnificent beings they are, you’ll have an entirely different outcome.
Here are a few things to keep in mind when interacting with, observing, or communicating with today’s youth…
1- They are natural-born human lie detectors.
Most of them will not buy into anything other than the whole truth. And they will know if you are not giving them the whole truth.
Some of them are driven enough to know the whole truth – like my daughter, for instance – that they will not allow you to tell a half truth and will keep questioning you until the whole truth comes out. Case in point: my daughter knew exactly where babies came from, how they were made, and how they got here at the age of four all thanks to the season of “Friends” when Rachel was pregnant and, on the first episode they talked about it, she asked, “Momma, where do babies come from?” No matter what I told her, she would not accept any of the answers I was prepared to offer my four year old daughter. We ended up having an entire anatomy lesson and explanation that would have rivaled NOVA’s “Miracle of Life” show.
Most of them, however, will just stop talking to you because they know you cannot be trusted to be honest with them. When you, their caregivers – the very people they are supposed to trust – are dishonest with them, you create discordance within the child. They know they cannot trust you because you are being dishonest, but they also know they are supposed to be able to trust you. It is the worst kind of hell you create for them when you are not courageous enough to be honest in all things.
2- They are loyal reflectors.
When they have been raised in healthy ways, they will stand beside those they love and fight for what is right for all they are worth, to the bitter end. It is why they are here. When they live in an environment of understanding, love, compassion, and kindness, they behave in the same manner. If they are subjected to abuse, disregard, neglect, and meanness, they become terrorizers and will bully everyone and everything.
If your child is behaving in a way that is bothersome, it is an opportunity to look at yourself, as well as the surroundings of the child. What is happening in their external environment? What is happening in your internal environment that is being reflected back to you?
Most of today’s children are here to bring peace to this planet. Even those who seem rebellious and combative are part of the plan of peace. If they come into this world with one of the difficult behavioral patterns, it is often their greatest strength and the way through which they will lead the revolution, if they are taught to live with it and see its miracles, rather than fight against it or be continually made to believe they are “wrong” for being born the way they were.
3- Today’s children have a very keen understanding of how fragile life is.
More than any other generation to come to this planet, today’s children know the future is imaginary and that, if they do not do the job they are here to do, there will be no other generations to follow them. Humans have made a mess of this planet and the children of today have a huge burden on their shoulders because of that. Every single one of them know it and it’s why so many of them are pissed off and retaliatory.
4- They are powerfully Sensitive.
They are Visionaries – able to see things in ways they’ve never been seen before or see the future or see solutions where others see only problems. They are Creatives – inventors and artists and scientists with minds for innovation. They are Emapthic – able to feel what others are feeling, what others are thinking, and what is happening with the planet itself. They are Psychic – able to know what others are thinking or feeling, able to know what is coming. They are Intuitive – born with strong gut instincts and mind-boggling intuition. They are Receptors – able to receive spirits, ghosts, animal guides, dimensional beings and so forth and then work with them or support them in transitioning from one realm to the next. They are Magical!
You complaining to them that they’re too sensitive (or too anything) is the biggest disservice you can give them. They need to be encouraged to develop their gifts so they do not fear them. Fearing their gifts is the quickest road to disaster (“Frozen” is a great example of this, if you haven’t seen that movie) and it is also hurtful. If you are afraid of their abilities or don’t understand them, be honest about it and FIND. THEM. SUPPORT! Find someone, like me, who is comfortable in the face of their magic and their abilities that can teach them what to do with it so that they can focus on what they are really here to do.
5- They are FAST!!!
Today’s children text, IM, Snap, Instagram, swipe left, AND listen to streaming music while watching streaming videos and doing homework all at the same time because they can. They are designed for speed. They are designed to do a gazillion things at once because they have a lot to do. They are complete in every second – even though you think they are unfocused and finish nothing. They do things differently than you or I do because they are designed to. Them spending 24/7 on their phones is how they connect and they connect that way because it’s fast enough to hold their attention.
No amount of you shaming them because they are on their phones or taking it away from them as punishment is going to reach them. Find a different way to go about it. Remind them that you think, talk, and connect on a much slower level and ask them for a few minutes of un-phoned focus on you so you can feel like they heard you.
Secret of this one… they do hear you. ALL. THE. TIME. Even when – or maybe, especially when – you think they’re not listening. Even when they are focused on their phone or any of their myriad of electronics, they still hear you. They may not respond or react the way you want them to and they may appear to be disconnected from you, but they’re not. They’re listening. They are always listening. Sometimes, they just choose to not let you know that.
6- If you listen to them, they’ll talk to you.
The Number One WORST Thing you can do to one of today’s youths is to judge them when they open up to you. When you ask them a question and they respond – especially if it is a response that reveals the state of their heart or shares something they really care about – and you roll your eyes or scoff or immediately tell them how wrong it is, they will shut off. Immediately. If you don’t approve of them, they’ll know it and you’ll never really know what’s going on in their world.
If you have any of your own issues or expectations about how one should dress or talk or act or believe and you try to impose that upon them, you will never be let into their world. If you want to be close to today’s youth, you will have to learn to deal with unfulfilled expectations because they rarely do anything the way you want them to. They demand liberation from the archaic beliefs that have dug humanity into the pit that it is in right now. They require judgment-free relationships. They expect you to deal with your own beliefs and behave as you want to behave for yourself and let them do the same.
Case in point… recently an adult asked my daughter what was going on in her world. She bubbled over with joy and excitement, exclaiming, “I’m in love with my best friend and he is in love with me! He thought he was gay – we all thought he was gay – but he’s attracted to me so we’re gonna try it out!” I watched the woman roll her eyes and grimace with a tight pucker to her lips, but she said nothing. My daughter, later that night said, “She was so upset and judgmental about my news. It made me never want to tell her anything again.”
7- They are “fluid.”
This is a terminology that makes the heads of many of today’s older generation spin or explode. “Fluid” means they identify with neither the male or female gender; it means they can be either or both or none, all at the same time. It means they may feel they are a boy born in a girl’s body or a girl born in a boy’s body or a girl born in a girl’s body that wants to explore being a boy or a boy born in a boy’s body that wants to explore being a girl. It means the pronoun like “he” or “she” sometimes doesn’t fit, but “it” never fits. It means that, often, they actually prefer to be addressed as “they” rather than “he” or “she.” It means that some of them will prefer sexual partners whose body is the same gender as their body, some will prefer opposite genders for sexual partners, and some will prefer all genders. It means that some of them will go through physical transformations to change their bodies to match the gender they identify with. It means some will flow between both genders from moment to moment without ever changing their genitalia. It means some of them will go through the process of legally changing their names and gender, but keep their physical form as it is. It means sometimes a male body will prefer to dress like a woman or female body will prefer to dress decidedly male.
In the end, what this point means really is that they are in flow. They are limitless creatures – we all are, but they more so than any generation before them – because they have to be to accomplish their task here. They, more than any generation before them, have an understanding that we are not our bodies, we are not our gender, we are not our ego identity. We are so much more and they know this and it is that facet of their make up alone that causes the most consternation for the older generation – they know that they are more than their ego.
8- Abusive or negative manipulation is a learned trait.
Today’s children come to earth with an understanding of the positive power of manipulation. They understand that to create change, things like energy and belief and so forth must be manipulated in empowering ways. They rarely use their power of manipulation to hurt or abuse another or to “get their way” or to “make you feel” something “bad.” That form of manipulation is something they have to be taught. If you try to do that to them, it will backfire in one of two ways, or possibly both: you’ll be embarrassed because they’ll call your bluff or they’ll stay quiet and know you are someone not to be trusted. If they call you on it and you get accountable with them immediately, you will earn their trust. However, if you remain mute without apology or accountability, you will lose.
Funny case in point… when my daughter was four, she was sitting at the table staring in her bowl, refusing to eat the cereal I had poured her. We were nearly running late and I didn’t have a lot of time, but I was trying to be patient.
Finally, she said, “I don’t like Cheerios.”
She loves my sister, her Aunt TinTin, and I believed that if I said, “Oh really?! Your Aunt TinTin loooooooooves Cheerios,” that my baby angel would think that they were really cool and chow down on them so we could leave. Funny thing is, I hate Cheerios, so I don’t know why I ever thought to give them to her.
As she pushed the bowl away from her with disgust, she said, “Well, I’m not eating these and maybe we should save the rest for when she gets here.”
To this day, I still laugh at my folly. It was the one and only time I ever tried to manipulate her.
If you find yourself saying that your child is manipulating you into doing something, that is your own garbage to get clear on, my friend. And it is showing up in one of two ways: either you taught them to manipulate you and they’re dishing back to you what you dished to them or you’re manipulative yourself so you believe everyone is manipulative and your child is reflecting that to you.
Any time you have the desire to accuse a child of being manipulative in a negative sense, check in first to find the real source of that manipulation.
9- Bribery will not work with them, but negotiation may.
For generations, it has been believed that bribing a child – “rewarding good behavior” – was the way to go. Today, that is not the case.
Today’s generation will turn the tactic of bribery into an all-out war that you will lose. They are geniuses in understanding “the system” so that they can dismantle it. If you continually attempt to bribe them to get something out of them or to get them to do what you want them to do, you will be sorry in the end. Eventually, the gains will not be worth the cost.
However, if they feel they have a say in the matter, if they can input ideas into the process and it turns into a negotiation, you may get somewhere with them. Because of their visionary abilities, today’s children are able to see things in ways you could never have imagined. Asking them what they want to contribute or ways that they think that things can be done to accomplish what it is that you want to accomplish will open you to their limitless imagination and vast possibilities.
On some things, you will have to set strict guidelines and provide a few options within those guidelines, which allows for them to choose out of several options, rather than actually having them provide the options. If the youth feels as though they have had a say in their outcome, if they have a clear understanding of the expectations up front and the consequences – both positive and negative – for following through with the agreement, they tend to be more compliant.
Today’s kids are funny. They are expressive. They are emotional and unashamedly so. They are inquisitive and questioning. They are strong and strong-willed. They are born with the desire to make things better, do things better, help Mother Earth get better. They are massive energy and high vibration. They are here to do big things.
Today’s youth are the most powerful generations yet to be born. This terrifies us adults because they seem too rebellious and too wild and too self-focused and too… well… weird. But the joke is on us “old people” because by definition, the origin of the word “weird” is the Old English word “wyrd” which is a noun that means “fate, destiny.” Wyrd literally means, “that which comes.” The slang definition of “weird” is “excellent, wonderful,” and the New Age definition is “unique and rare.”
So, be grateful that the “kids these days” are weird! They are our fate, our destiny, and they are a rare and unique gift that is beyond excellent or wonderful. They are here to save our asses and so, therefore, we must do everything in our power to help them move forward and then kneel before these young Warrior Kings and Warrior Queens and thank them for the courage it will take to successfully fulfill the hellacious mission we have created for them.