Death. It can be such a beautiful part of life, a transition from this world to the beyond. It also does not always have to mean the separation of spirit and body. Death is an ending of one thing, which makes way for another. As The Phoenix, I find myself holding space for a lot of death.
Just now, a new client was guided to me. She was in overwhelm, couldn’t find her words to express what support she needed. All she could get out was pain-riddled swear words. Any of you who know me well, know that swearing is a most magical practice in my life and so, I sat with her and let her swear. It was welcome in my space because, sometimes, swearing IS the only way through.
About three minutes into our time together, she was finally able to share what was at the root of her pain… her father had just died, just hours ago, unexpectedly. She was raw with the grief of it all and her revelation took my breath away. For a moment, I felt the immense depths of her pain and I wanted to take it for her, to lessen her burden.
The thing is, grief IS soooo miraculous. It is so transformative and so clarifying. There is vast, powerful magic inside grief and for me to take any of her burden and make it mine, I would have been robbing her of her divine right to experience that grief. It was hers to do with as she saw fit for her.
The honor of sitting with her as she allowed herself to feel the wretchedness of loss, the human pain of realizing she would never see him again, never laugh with him again… to be with her in those raw moments is an honor I now cherish.
And, once again, I find myself breathing a sigh filled with loving gratitude that I haven’t given up or chosen out when I had the opportunities to do so, that I kept on moving through the sludge and kept praying and kept believing and kept mining for hope so that I could keep moving and believing. Because, had I given up at any point in the last 26 years that I have been on this path of waking up, I would have missed the moments with her.
Yes, death IS a beautiful part of life. I am so grateful I know that.