A friend said to me, “As of late you seem to be dwelling on your ‘aloneness’. Does it really concern you?”
I am aware that I am alone because I have created my life that way. I choose to create my life in a way that limits my availability to others. And, for the most part, I am comfortable with that choice and the consequences thereof.
The natural consequence of my choice is that I am alone and there are times when that aloneness settles in and it is then that I feel sad. It is then that I know I am alone. When I yearn for someone to hold me and there is no one to do so. That is when I feel it the most.
It isn’t all the time.
It isn’t even frequently.
It’s in the rare and quiet moments when it’s just me and I notice that the space beside me is empty.