Judgment can be a punch to the face.
There is a difference between being judgmental and being discerning and it is a delicate line between the two, easily crossed if we are not aware of our own path.
When we are looking at the world to continually prove we are “not wrong,” our filters are set to look for and hear all the ways we are wrong, which we interpret as being dangerous. We take in all we are seeing and hearing through these filters – which continually prove all the ways we are wrong and, therefore, in danger – and then we speak to what we are experiencing. When we speak about what we are experiencing, those around us are engulfed in the uncomfortable sensations of interacting with someone who has to always be right. About everything.
You have to separate yourself from another person or situation to be able to fight for being “not wrong,” and this separation lands you firmly in the judgment seat. When you act as judge of every person, place, and thing as a means of keeping yourself “safe,” it destroys relationships and causes people to not want to interact with you. It is an uncomfortable situation for ANY human to attempt to be in a relationship with someone who has to be always right. Because, if YOU are always right, it means that the other person is ALWAYS WRONG.
Judgment is wholly about separation and guardedness. It is unaccountable. It is often based in the thought process of “my way is right, your way is wrong.” It contains a lot of blame and projection. It requires separation to decide what you are or are not in comparison to someone else. That is judgment.
Discernment is about awareness and inclusion. Discernment is based in accountability and willingness. The vulnerability required in discernment can be uncomfortable for those who have lived in judgment for a long time because the whole point of judgment is to “protect” someone who is unwilling to be vulnerable.
The “safety” within judgment is entirely false. In fact, the energy of judgment is destructive and leads to everything BUT safety. It results in people refusing to be around you or talk to you because they grow tired of you knowing everything, knowing better, and being smarter all. the. time. Even when you are not.
If you often say aloud, “I just KNEW this was going to happen…” or “I could see this coming from a mile away…” or “You SHOULD HAVE listened to me…” you are in judgment. If you look at things around you, see everything that is “wrong” and needs to be fixed, you are in judgment. If you speak that out loud, people get offended, especially if you spout off your visions of how things could be “better” to people who have not asked for your opinion or do not know you. Living in judgment requires you to be separate from and isolated on this planet. That, to me, sounds like a very lonely existence.
So, I ask you… do you WANT to keep punching others in the face with your judgment, thereby creating isolation and loneliness? Or are you more interested in creating connection and love?
If that last question lights you up, then you are ready to move into discernment and leave behind the false sense of security – and very real precursor to separation and isolation – of judgment. It is time to open up to vulnerability through accountability and willingness. And it is time to stop being a Know-It-All for everyone in every situation and simply ALLOW everyone around you to know what is best for themselves.