“Toxic” is a terminology I hear often being flung about the spiritual community, usually in defense of a choice to leave an individual or a group. I most likely have been guilty of it, as well, in the past. Please forgive me.
Today, it struck a chord in me when I saw one of my friends posting about the importance of leaving toxic people. I actually got tears in my eyes and couldn’t read it because, for the first time, I could see the level of judgment required to label someone “toxic.”
Toxicity is not a blanket diagnosis. Just because YOU have an experience with someone that seems toxic does not mean that that person IS toxic. Toxicity is a perception based on a very personal experience with and reaction to certain people. Holding yourself away from the “toxic people” only serves to remove your Light because YOU create a block through that action. And with all that is going on in our world, we really don’t need one more way to divide ourselves.
There ARE people on this planet who choose violence and abuse and inhumane ways of interacting. There ARE people who SEEM to be genuinely “bad” through and through. And, yes, if you’re in an abusive situation, get the hell out. I’m not saying stay. I’m asking you to look at the truth. YOU. ARE. THERE. In relationship with someone you deem as toxic, so ask yourself… WHY?
What is usually missing in pointing-fingers posts about the “toxic” people is two words: FOR ME. Unless you are willing to own the fact that YOU chose to be in relationship with this person and YOU experienced it as toxic, you are actually unable to learn and heal from the situation, which is what really needs to happen. IF, as an adult, YOU are in a toxic relationship, something within you matches that. Be accountable for your choices. Stop blaming the other person. And stop calling them names. And if you feel the need to label them as “toxic,” then step up, get accountable, and say the WHOLE truth: I EXPERIENCE THEM AS TOXIC FOR ME.
In these trying times, as the world begins to shake while humanity moves through the darkness and into the light, we need to stand together. We really are all ONE. It is time for us to choose to step into the Lightest versions of who we are and pour our Love on everyone. Even the Toxic People. Because, it really is possible that YOU, my friend, are the toxic person in someone’s life.
Treat others as you would like to be treated.