This morning, I had the opportunity to spend an hour with my father – just him and me – driving in the car, listening to his music. He LOVES classical music and I had forgotten this about him. However, driving with him, I had memories of him cranking up the stereo in the car when I was a child so the strings and brass and woodwinds could blast through the speakers as he led the invisible orchestra that seemingly was spread upon our dashboard. It was a tender memory and an experience that I would have, back then, rolled my eyes about and then covered my ears, but it has become something tender that I will always cherish now.
As I listened to the beautiful orchestrations filling the car, a song came on that felt very familiar. He started humming along and I could feel him wanting to “direct” the instruments as he used to do when I was a child. I could feel him remembering times long past and I glanced at him.
“This is pretty, dad. What is it?”
“It’s Finlandia,” he smiled with a dreamy look in his eyes and I knew he was back in Finland, where he served as an LDS missionary for 2 1/2 years.
“But it feels more familiar, like it has words. Did someone turn it into a hymn?”
He smiled. “Yes. It’s called, Be Still, My Soul.”
I listened to the haunting sound of the slow, melodic harmony that filled the empty spaces and felt the words filling my body. I couldn’t remember them, but I knew the message somewhere deep inside. I had chills as I listened and I felt tears in my eyes. I didn’t understand the body reactions, so I simply took note and breathed through it as the beautiful song flowed through me.
About 30 minutes later, I was sitting down at my computer to do some work at home. I opened up my pandora.com window and it immediately started playing my Christian station. And, the second song that played was… Be Still, My Soul.
I couldn’t ignore the message, so I looked up the lyrics to read them. I knew there was something in them. I started reading them and I could feel my heart wanting to sing them, but I got distracted and went on with things, not following through with the impulse.
I did my radio show – it was a huge success, in my books – and I delivered, as well as received, astounding messages. Then I went back to doing computer work. I started up pandora.com and turned it to my “Chill” station as I wrapped up the loose ends from the radio show. The third song to come on was… Finlandia!
I knew then that I had to take a few minutes and allow my heart to sing this song. I found the video below on YouTube and chose it because of the ethereal sound of the boy’s choir. Their innocent, pure sound perfectly matches my impression of this song.
And, I sang it, while I cried… and as I did, Grandma Faye stepped through the veil and placed her hand upon my shoulder as she stood beside me and sang with me. It was then I realized that the last time I sang this song, she was beside me, to my left and we were in a meeting at her church. It was just before she died. I don’t know why I was there, but the memory and her presence beside me let me know that she was there to bring me a message and had been trying to do so all day.
So… I listened in and I heard, “He comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.”
It is a reminder to me to continue trusting that He will provide, even if I cannot see the way.
Thank you, Grandma.