listeningI am in the student center here at my school, attempting to concentrate on my homework. Because there are so many people around me, I have to wear earbuds and put on meditative music to put me in the zone, to block out all the energy, the noises and the complications that swirl around in this massive room.

It is lunchtime.

Sometimes, I am really successful in going into the “zone” and blocking all the sensory information that is coming at me. I generally position myself so that my back is to all the activity, there is a wall beside me and in front of me there are very few tables with studious people so there isn’t a lot to visually distract me.

Today, however, I’m having a really difficult time staying here, at my table, in my zone.

There is a young woman across the aisle from me – five feet away. She is an incredibly depressed person… her dark, dragging energy eeking out and filling this tiny space. She is obese. She has been sitting there for 30 minutes. During that time, she drank a gigantic mug of dark-colored soda, and has eaten a salad, 32 oz of ramen noodles and two cupcakes. She has coughed and sneezed without covering her mouth or nose and has slurped her noodles so loudly, I could hear it over the music that I’ve turned up as high as it would go.

What she has eaten and how she has behaved while eating it is not the real reason I am distracted and being constantly called to her table. Nor do I really care about any of that, as it is the surface information available to everyone here in this small alcove that juts off the cavernous space behind me.

The reason for the pulling is her loudly breaking heart and the self-loathing thoughts that she is pounding herself with on every single bite. She hates herself. She hates her life. She hates that she’s alone. She hates that food. She hates that she only has food. She hates that she has to eat. She hates that she’s fat. She hates her next class. She hates… hates… hates…

At times like this, I want to be able to turn off my abilities, but I also know there is a reason why I can hear her. I am very particular, in that I “work” only with those who have given me permission to listen in on their private thoughts and emotions. I don’t know this woman. We’ve never had a conversation, let alone an agreement. So why can I hear her?

I imagine that, if anyone paid even the slightest attention, they could guess her thoughts based on her facial expression. But, I’m not guessing. I’m hearing. I’m feeling.

So, I thought about that… why? Why her?

Sometimes, as a healer, I get to work pro bono and completely anonymously. Sometimes, I get called to help where someone doesn’t realize they need help – or even want it. Sometimes, I get guided to hold someone in a space of love energetically and let it wash over them.

I have no idea what the other person experiences when this inspiration comes to me. I don’t know if it changes them in any way or if they feel comfort as it’s happening. Or if they feel like “something weird is happening” or if they have absolutely no inclination whatsoever and just continue to go on as if nothing has happened.

I don’t know.

All I do know is that I’ve committed to trust my intuition, my impulses and my divine instructions. And, in this moment, I hold this young woman in my heart and embrace her with love.

Maybe that young woman is you…

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0 Responses to Hearing You Think

  1. You hear it because it is a cry for help. She believes know one cares, no one hears her, she doesn’t matter. She needs affirmation that she is of worth, of value, deserving of love & she needs it from others because she doesn’t have the resources to give that reassurance to herself. Her subconscious knows this so it is reaching out, crying out…there in no more room to hold the pain without it leaking out of all the broken places in her soul.

    • I agree with you. The saddest part about the situation was that her energy was “leaking out of all the broken places in her soul” at such a rapid rate, it allowed for no opening in her space for any love to come in. It was, indeed, really sad to witness.

      • I always pray that they will recognize that they have emotional energy that needs to be released somehow. The flood can be so powerful it can run everyone over. Until they can see it or even feel calm on some level there is no opening for love. I pray that someone who is in a position to give her love in small doses in a way she can recognize it will come into her life.

        • That is so true about them needing to recognize it. I often wonder how to help them “see” that to which they are “blind.”

          • azurescreations says:

            Send out vibes of intention to such folks with the words such as “I pray you will be enlightened with awareness of your worth and your needs and see the sign’s so you can be guided to the right path, chose to follow it & that it will give you hope, healing & bring you lifelong peace & happiness.”

          • OH! That’s a good plan! Thank you.

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