Release

Image courtesy of photopin.com and linked to originating site

In my last post, I shared the experience of having a client dispute a charge she had paid me for services rendered. I thought I would follow up with what has happened since so you get the full picture…

I had mentioned that I did what had to be done and I let go, moving on into my life and remaining focused on what kept me in alignment with my Purpose. Let me be clear, though. The “moving on” part only happened after I recognized that I had emotions surfacing about the experience, felt those emotions, and expressed them in ways that felt authentic. Then I let go. Rather than creating a build up by denying the emotional component of the situation, I chose to face right into it and feel it. That step is vital because we are spiritual beings having a human experience, by choice, in one vehicle – our body. Any clog of anything in our system stops up the entire machine. In the past, I lived a life that was completely stopped up and, now, I choose to be fully alive and this requires flow.

Another thing that I want to point out is… this whole “feel the emotions” process lasted only a few minutes. It didn’t need to be a grand production that was dragged on for hours, or even days or weeks (trust me, I have pulled that off before many times!) All it took was me paying attention to what was going on inside me and doing what felt natural to do, in that moment, to get the emotions moving. In this situation, it was crying, but it doesn’t have to be crying. Emotions can be expressed easefully in ways that are unexpected. Being willing to follow impulses is the most genuine way to move emotions and, in that moment in that situation, gentle tears did the trick.

Also, I had to be really honest with myself and get accountable for my part of the situation. Rather than blowing smoke to make a screen to hide behind, I had to be willing to look at the fact that I had, actually, completely fulfilled my end of the agreement. I had to be willing to pop myself out of my old pattern of “Oh! I am not good enough!” and really look at the truth. I had done all that I could do and could confidently, truthfully say that I had done all I could. That moment, when I allowed myself to actually be… enough just as I was there and then… was the moment that I released myself.

It took another 24 hours before my client actually contacted me, but by then I had found such peace that I’m certain that any outcome would have been fine. Granted, it would have been nice to not have to refund the money. It would have been nice to not have to terminate a working relationship with a client. It would have been nice to not be thought of as someone who didn’t have integrity. All that would have been great, but I had released myself so well, I had no attachment to the outcome.

When she finally did contact me, it was to apologize and to say that she was not disputing my fee and she had no idea that I had got caught up in a mess on her end.

I laughed when I learned this. I laughed and then I cried, happily this time.

I laughed because I had already released myself and the money attached to the situation and now it was like I was being paid again. I cried because I could see myself in another lifeline still holding on to the anger, frustration, and angst caused in the misunderstanding and being in a space of combat and blame. I could see how ugly the experience had been for the Me in that lifeline and I felt such gratitude for the Me in this lifeline that had chosen Love and to live what I am teaching.

There are times when we all are faced with situations that evoke emotions so big and self-doubt so deep that it can take our breath away. In these times, DNA programming and old patterns of thought and behavior kick in and it really does take a very conscious choice to do something differently.

I imagine that you have heard it said, “Insanity is doing the same thing while expecting different results.” If you don’t like the life you are experiencing, change your thoughts, change your emotional responses, change your beliefs, and change your life. Interrupt the old patterns with something you actually want to experience. Practice it until it becomes second nature like this experience I have shared with you over the last couple posts.

Being willing to change begins the transformation process.

How willing are you?

photo credit: h.koppdelaney via photopin cc

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I always welcome your thoughts, questions, and comments. Feel free to jot down what you’re thinking in the comment box below.

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16 Responses to In the Release

  1. Jen Duchene says:

    A lovely post and a wonderful reminder that our response to experiences are what make the experience. What a beautiful thing to recognize your self worth and allow release. Love how the universe rewarded your letting go.

  2. Oh, recognising and letting go of our old bad patterns / habits is hard! We can spot them so easily in others, but not very often in ourselves. Good call and I am glad you were rewarded :)

  3. Laura says:

    Great post! I love “blowing smoke to make a screen to hide behind” – I’ve never heard that before and it is a very descriptive way to look at our default actions. Thanks!

    • Angie K. Millgate says:

      Haahahahaha Laura! As I was writing that line, I was going to write “blowing smoke up my own a$$” but it didn’t feel right. That’s divine inspiration right there. :)

  4. Dear Angie,

    What an interesting story! It’s funny because I expect the client had no idea that you had gone through all those emotions and it was probably a simple mistake or misunderstanding on her side. But when we are on the other side we made these things into something really big in our own world!

    Thanks for sharing your story!
    Jennyxx

    • Angie K. Millgate says:

      Jennifer, you’re absolutely correct. She had no idea that I was included so she hadn’t had any “problems” on her end. LOL

  5. Kate Lindsay says:

    “I lived a life that was completely stopped up and, now, I choose to be fully alive and this requires flow.” That is my favourite sentence in this piece because it describes me so well. Old habits can be difficult to replace with new ones but I love that you live as you teach and that you are doing it. Thank you for sharing.

  6. What a beautiful post! I know so many people who hang on to the bitterness and blame others instead of making peace with conflict. I love how you tackled this, and allowed yourself to live what you preach…very inspiring! Thank you!

  7. Carol says:

    I really enjoyed this post. We all need to learn to act and not react to a situation. Look at the situation and control what you can — the rest are things you can do nothing about. Nothing except not let it get you down. Take responsibility for what you can, and let the rest go.

  8. Kimba says:

    It IS hard to let go of old patterns. For me, part of the process is taking responsibility for my own emotions – I control how I react to a situation, the situation does not control me. Not always easy for a hot-headed Southern Irish gal; but I’m working on it!

    • Angie K. Millgate says:

      I agree, Kimba, that it’s in the accountability piece. And… a southern Irish gal, aye? What a deliciously exciting combo that is!

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