I’m in the computer lab at school waiting for my first class to start in an hour. It’s so quiet. The only sound is the humming of the machines around me, my breathing and the tinkling sound of the keys as I write. At times like this, I am so grateful for my life and these quiet moments that take me by surprise. I’ve created my life so that there are purposeful snippets of quiet moments that I can drink in the gentleness of my creation. However, I am most surprised and grateful for the quietness that shows up unexpectedly.
Life is crazy busy for most of us. It’s filled with all sorts of electronics and buzzing equipment. It’s fast paced and doesn’t provide a lot of space for taking deep breaths to get centered. Being centered and balanced is a choice.
I find that the biggest time this is challenged for me is in moments just like the one I am in now…. when I am in a quiet space, feeling grateful for the stillness and the alone time and someone walks in, shattering that atmosphere with a loud voice, a rustling coat and an aggressive energy, smelling like a pancake house and possessing a propensity to be a Chatty Joe who knows everything and has to tell me about it.
As I sit here, feeling grateful for the life I have manifested, I’ve called in the very opposite of what I am appreciating and this boy sits right next to me although there are at least twenty other computers at which he could sit to work. I find myself wondering… why does he have to sit right there?! Couldn’t he have sat at the desk behind me and not be so near to my personal bubble space?!
And I can feel myself spinning out into the ethers as I focus on the irritation I am feeling. I want to blame him for creating the irritation, but I realize that it is up to me to choose whether I’m going to fixate on his presence and allow my inner peace to be shattered. This experience was a direct reflection of my own experience… finding peace within the external chaos.
He is gone now and I am reflecting on the magic of my life… the magic of ALL life. We have in our life that which we’re focused on and this experience that I’ve journaled here is an example of how life shows up in support of you. I know that, internally, I’ve been in chaos for most of my life, while longing for quiet. I also know that I’m getting masterful at soothing my internal atmosphere so that I can reflect out into my life – from within – the peace and love that I’m longing to experience. It is up to me to generate this. Every moment is a choice on how I experience it.
Just like here in this silent lab. Do I get frustrated that Noisy Boy interrupted my peace? Or do I just notice and move on? Or do I choose to get out my headset and plug into music that uplifts me to drown out the noise? It’s all a choice.
And… once again… I am grateful for the gentleness of my life. I’m so grateful that I finally understand that life can be easeful and it’s up to me to choose it to be so.