“I miss you,” he said to me four days ago. “Is there any chance we can spend time together sometime this week? It has been so long. Too long.”
One would think I would be thrilled to hear my best friend say that. I wasn’t. It has become his mantra. I miss you. Let’s do something.
Yet, nothing happens. He once told me that when he really cares about a person, then he makes time to be with them. Should I be recognizing something here?
“Sure. I would love that,” I said, trying to inject excitement sincerely into my tone. Even to my ears it was flat. “It has been way too long.”
We babbled on for a bit and then said goodbye. Nothing was planned. Nothing even penciled in. No mention of “playing it by ear.” Nothing.
I took the bull by the horns two days later, “Hey,” I spoke into his voicemail box, our standard mode of conversation as of late, “I am going to that meditation group tonight. You wanna come with me?”
Eight hours later, he called, “See here’s the thing… I have that dance class I am drumming for tonight at Westminster. It starts at 8:00…”
I felt my hopes sliding. Another excuse.
Why does he say he misses me, let’s get together, yet whenever I suggest something he declines? What is this game?
Ah-ha! An idea. “Well, ya know, we could go grab some dinner and maybe you could just come for the beginning part, the meditation and sharing part and then leave. We get done with sharing at 7:30 and that would give you plenty of time to get to Westminster since it is just down the street from there.”
“Hmmm… well… hmmm… see… I have this drum… yeah… I need to work on finishing this drum… I am going to be working really late… up until class and then afterward… so I am thinking… hmmm”
I stopped listening at that point. I don’t really care what he was thinking. He can just keep on thinking, for all I care. He’s doing too much thinking and not enough making.
I deserve better than that.
In my opinion.