Yesterday, in the middle of an oh-so-human freak out session, where I slid down the slippery slope of fear and disbelief into the dark abyss of “I don’t know how…” and despair, there was a moment when this sound rang out in my ear. It was my phone. And, on the other end of the line was someone calling to reassure me that, indeed, God, the Universe, and all higher powers actually do know me. They do oversee my life and work with me.
When I hung up that phone, I stared into the distance for quite some time, not really seeing anything on this earthly plane, but simply soaking it all in. I was stunned by the miracle that had presented itself and was amused by the timing of it. And then I felt something shift in me…
Ya see, the other day, I had a conversation that went something like this:
Friend: Angie, you are a full time student, right?
Me: Yep. Graduating next month, but yes, I am right now.
Friend: Are you working?
Friend: So how are you making ends meet?
Me: Well, I am on the CBJT grant for visual arts students and I’m also on a PELL grant and then a small amount of student loans when they allow me to. However, I have had to learn to live on about 1/5th of the amount of money I thought I had to have.
Friend: Man! I don’t think I could ever do that!
Me: I didn’t know that I could do it and it has been scary, really scary, sometimes. It has been a huge trust walk.
Friend: So, if you have no money, how can you always be talking about abundance?
In that moment, I paused. How CAN I talk about abundance and living abundantly if *I* have no money???
My response to her was, “Good question. Let me think about it a bit and I’ll get back to you.”
I mostly asked for more time because I wanted to check in to see if I was being a fraud. Was I speaking a talk I wasn’t walking?
During the next few hours and days, I thought about her question. Then, yesterday, in the middle of that freak out, when the Universe showed up to reveal the miracles in the middle of the madness, I had an awareness…
Abundance is more than money. Abundance is a state of being. Within my commitment to be fully alive, there is a juicy nugget of abundance because, if you are fully alive, then you ARE abundant. You are fully alive. It wasn’t until yesterday that I saw the connection as to why I feel so aligned with abundance, even though I have the least amount of money I have ever had in my adult life. I am abundance.
I have chosen to trust in myself and my abilities and my gifts. I have chosen to live my purpose and be a servant of humanity in whatever way I am capable of. I have chosen to support others who are on purpose and to help them heal energy patterns that are thwarting them and also to help them get their message out boldly and energetically.
Because I have chosen myself, I have chosen abundance.
I think that’s pretty cool!
I always welcome your thoughts, questions, and comments. Feel free to jot down what you’re thinking in the comment box below.