I want you to tell me what’s wrong with me, how to fix it, fix it for me, and do everything. However, I am not going to listen to anything you say AND I am going to be condescending in the process. Wanna play?
Ye-eah… I didn’t think so.
However, that is sometimes how people will approach me for their healing work or to get a reading or, even, in seeking support of their business through graphic design. This very thing happened with a person – I’ll call this person Joe and possibly change his gender – who approached me while I was at Dancing Crane Imports doing readings recently.
I witnessed Joe walk by the area a couple different times. He would pause, glance at me nonchalantly and I could feel him hoping to god that I didn’t see him doing so. But, he couldn’t help himself. He kept stopping. About a half hour later, Joe meandered closer to me and his energy challenged me to a duel before he was near me. I smiled at him, acknowledging his invitation to battle with a gentle nod of my head. He stepped in front of me, refusing to sit down, and crossed his arms while staring at me intently.
While his physical appearance seemed submissive, his energy was menacing and combative.
“Hi,” I said, without rising and holding my ground. I could feel my warrior energy bubbling to the surface, ready to lop off the head of any intruder. I encouraged her to simmer down and infused my cells with love. “How may I be of service to you?”
He bristled at the question and dug deeper into his stance. “I’ve never had one of these… readings,” he said. The disdain rippled through the air. “I think I’ll have one now and see what you have to say.”
Really? You’re thinking you want a reading today, aye? Hmmmm… This should be fun… I said out loud, indicating the chair across from me, “Fabulous. Have a seat.”
He emptied his pockets onto my table. His cell phone, money clip, lip balm, a tissue, and his keys. He was unwilling to share any information. He was unwilling to give any direction. He was unwilling to open up, but he wanted a reading. At least, he said he wanted a reading.
He shuffled the cards once, although I requested he play with them for a few minutes. He refused to breathe when I requested he take a cleansing breath. He sighed with great unease when I requested he divide the deck into four piles. He slapped each division on the table hard enough to make things rock. And then he sat back, glaring at me and crossed his arms.
And you WANT a reading?
He sat back with his “stump the psychic” energy oozing from every pore. I wondered what was happening until I flipped the second card and saw that it was “Rage.” Everything came clear. As soon as he saw that card, he “harumphed” and shifted in his chair uncomfortably. He tightened his arms closer to his chest and literally turned his body as far away from me as he could without leaving his seat or looking “too” obvious about it. I did a 10-card reading in under 15 minutes because he was unwilling to participate.
The overall message that came through me was, “As long as you hold onto this old rage and are unwilling to release yourself from its bonds, you will be unclear about how to go forward.”
He was angry.
After the tenth card’s message was quickly relayed, each one getting shorter than the last, I asked him if he had any questions or needed clarity about anything.
His reply, “No. I need nothing further from you. And I’m ending this now. It is clear you have nothing of value to give to me.”
I glanced at the clock, “Great. We’ve been together for 15 minutes so that’s $15.”
He flipped a $20 at me and I asked if he needed change. Smirking at me, he said, “Yes. I need change. I think a dollar a minute is more than sufficient for a wage.”
The mocking tone of his voice would have been biting if I hadn’t been so entertained by all I had witnessed. He picked up all of his belongings and turned to leave without so much as a “good bye” or “thank you.”
I resisted the urge to laugh right out loud and sat there, momentarily stunned. I could feel his thoughts of “what a scam” fading away with him as he left my eyesight. Then I glanced down and noticed his keys. I leaned to grab them, to take them to him and, as clear as day, as though the person speaking was standing right beside me, I heard, “STOP! Leave them there. Let him discover their loss on his own. He is in so deep he cannot see clearly to anything. Let him find his way back.”
Fifteen minutes later, Joe slowly approached me, looking sheepish. He glanced at his keys and said, “Not going far without these.”
I really wanted to say something witty. I wanted to remind him to clear his rage so he could go forward with ease. All that came out was, “Yeah. Those are important.”
He blushed. He actually blushed. And then he smiled shyly and left.
I have no idea what the old rage is. I didn’t look because he was unwilling to give me permission to look. I have no idea where he was in that moment, what he was experiencing, or what he was facing into. Because he was so closed, the only thing I did know was that he was closed and, no matter what the message was, he wasn’t hearing it then. Perhaps it will settle in him sometime in the future and he’ll realize what he heard. I don’t know. All I know was he was in pain. Pain big enough that he wasn’t open to hearing anything.
In hindsight, I may have been of better service to him had I said, “Joe, I am experiencing you as closed for information right now. Perhaps we could do this at another time.” Had I done that, it would have been a more clear expression of what I was feeling. I’m not fond of the “stump the psychic” energy that a lot of people take on and that should have been reason enough to say “no” to doing a reading for him. And, I did pause for a moment, but something urged me forward. And, the truth is, I have no idea how it effected Joe or if it helped him. So I rely on the belief that everything is perfect as it is in every moment.
One thing that solidified for me in this experience, is the importance of being clear about where my clients are, as well as myself. When I am working with you, I get clear on where *I* am before I enter into agreement to work with you. I ask the same of you. This clarity builds a foundation of trust and safety. It also allows space for you to realize if you are actually open to receiving information at that time. And, if you’re not, great! That’s good to know.
I always welcome your thoughts, questions, and comments.
Feel free to jot down what you’re thinking in the comment box below.