I was listening to this song, Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac:
You could be my silver springs
Blue-green colors flashing
I would be your only dream
Your shining over ocean crashing
Don’t say that she’s pretty
And did you say that she loved you
Baby I don’t want to know
So I begin not to love you
Turn ’round, see me running
I say I loved you years ago
But tell myself you never loved me,no
And don’t say that she’s pretty
And did you say that she loved you
Baby I don’t want to know, Oh no
And can you tell me was it worth it
Baby I don’t want to know
Time cast a spell on you
But you won’t forget me
I know I could have loved you
But you would not let me
Time cast a spell on you
But you won’t forget me
I know I could have loved you
But you would not let me
I’ll follow you down ’till the sound
Of my voice will haunt you
(Give me just a chance)
You’ll never get away from the sound
Of the woman who loves you
(Was I just a fool)
I’ll follow you down ’till the sound
Of my voice will haunt you
(Give me just a chance)
You’ll never get away from the sound
Of the woman who loves you
(Was I just a fool)
You could have been my silver springs…
As I listened to the haunting sound of Stevie Nicks’ voice, I heard death, for some reason. I had chills running through my body and tears in my eyes.
I am wondering… if someone who loved you found out they were dying and shared that with you, would you act differently? What if it is someone who had loved you longer than life itself but wasn’t the person to whom you are married? What if it is someone you consider to be a dear friend, perhaps even someone who you could have gone far with and created an amazing life together, had the circumstances been different? What if you discovered that “maybe later” is never going to be around the corner? What would you do? Would you take a chance? Would you disrupt your life to discover if it truly is as magical with this person as you imagined it could be? Would you throw caution to the wind and say “to hell with the rules”? What would you do?
Life is so short.
And I have spent much of it loving those who are unable to love me back. Loving those who leave because they cannot withstand the pressure of being in love with me. Loving those who want to find an “easier” way, someone who is less “challenging” and less “difficult”. Loving those who want someone else to make their decisions for them, rather than stand on their own feet and face the fire of their own conviction. Loving those who would turn their back to save their face. All the while, those people cannot quite let go of me. They know a good thing, although a difficult one at that, when they see it. Something about me haunts them… will not leave them be.
And so I wondered about this silver spring… and what it meant to me. And I felt an emptiness inside as I pondered my death. Would these people regret not having the strength to endure the difficulty of me? Would these people miss the joy that I am?
I wonder…

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