Even if your ex is the worst person on the planet, when you choose to throw a barrage of insults about that person at your children, you are choosing to teach that child that 50% of their DNA makeup is from someone that is “bad” and therefore, that child begins to believe they are “bad” too. It makes them question everything about who they are. To LIE outright about that person to your children, well… that level of abuse is abominable and, in my book, unforgivable.
I believe there is an especially dark, hot, and cruel space reserved in hell for parents who lie to their children about the other parent after a divorce has gone down, in an attempt to sway their children away from loving the other parent. That level of abuse, as insidious and pervasive as it is, is beyond comprehendible to me, and, yet, so many adults abuse their children that way.
That abuse should carry strong legal penalties, but the law will not punish these sorts of crimes because there is no “proof” that it is happening. Emotional, verbal, mental, spiritual, psychic, and energetic abuse is not recognized by law and therefore, it is unpunishable. Even neglect has to be extreme before they’ll consider taking actions against a neglectful parent. And so, this sort of behavior goes unchecked. Generation after generation after generation. And we wonder why our world is such a mess.
For whatever reason, YOU CHOSE that person AND you created children with that person. If you EVER say horrible things about your ex-spouse in the presence of your children – true or otherwise – you are abusing them in a very sneaky way. Perhaps you have never stopped to look at it that way, but I invite you to do so now and to STOP doing it from this point forward. It is unkind, inhumane, and downright wrong for you to attempt to win your children to your side by lambasting the other person, talking about their “evil” traits, or – worse – lying to them about that person.