There was a group of adults with special needs at Dancing Cranes as part of their day out on the town while I was holding space for Intrinsic Universe readings. One of them felt drawn toward me. She was very curious about all the cards and books I had at my table and she had many questions. She touched everything and asked, “What’s this? What’s this? What’s this?” like a curious child. It touched my heart.
Then, she picked up a copy of “City of Certainty,” my fairy-tale-esque book and said, “What’s this?” with eyes wide and a giant grin. Her response to this book was different than her response to anything else she had touched. She instantly fell in love, stopped listening to my words, opened the book, and was engrossed. Immediately.
I watched her face transform with wonder as she thumbed through the pages and then I could see she felt sad and afraid as she looked at me, “This isn’t free, is it? It’s your book, but it’s not free.”
Her caregiver approached at that moment and tried to interrupt the exchange, I imagine in protection of me as a service provider. She kept apologizing for the woman, although “Sherrie,” as she called her, had done nothing that needed apologizing for.
She was curious. She was in wonder. She recognized something that called to her heart. And she wanted it.
In that moment, I had a visceral understanding of what it meant to want something, without understanding why I did. I watched her sadness as she put the book down, knowing she couldn’t have it, even though she really wanted it.
I said, “Do you like books?”
Her face lit up. “YES! Yes, I do! I love reading them! I read real good! And I write too! I love writing stories!”
“That is wonderful,” I said. “Would you like to read that book?”
“Oh yes! Yes, I would!”
“Come on, Sherrie,” her caregiver said, attempting to lure her away from me. She apologized to me again and I acknowledged the apology without accepting it. I had experienced no wrong; no apology needed.
“If you had that book, would you like it?”
“Oh! Yes! I love books! I love writing stories!” Everything she spoke had exclamation points at the end of the sentences. She was obviously delighted.
“I would like to gift you that book,” I said softly.
She looked at me, eyes wide and gingerly touched the book. “You would give it to me? But it’s not free. I don’t have money.”
“I know. I want to give you a gift. Would you like that gift?”
“Oh yes! I would! I would! I love books! I read real good! I love to write stories! I write fairy tales!”
“Really?!” I now understood why it was that book that she was attracted to. “That book your holding is my fairy tale. And you can have it if you would like it.”
“Oooooh! I would really like it! Thank you! Thank you!”
The genuine purity of her curiosity and draw to that book was unmistakeable. I knew it needed to go home with her. Even though her caregiver was reluctant to allow the process to complete. I understood why she was reluctant. She was trying to teach Sherrie responsible adult behavior. She was trying to teach her that, when you’re in a store, you pay for things.
The messages Sensitives hear from coaches, loved ones, mentors, and the world at large is that we give too much of ourselves, we give away or undervalue our services, we are giving too much and are not receiving enough. With all of those messages screaming in my head and with Sherrie’s caregiver wanting to distract her from her unadultlike behavior, I hesitated for only a brief moment so I could hear the true message the Universe needed me to hear. For me, I knew it was an opportunity to open my heart and choose to give a gift to someone whose heart aligned with mine somehow, some way, in the land of fairy tales.
When I honored the drawing energy that was coursing through me, my heart opened up and the simple gesture of gifting a small book to Sherrie turned into something huge in the world of receiving for me. Receiving, for Sensitives, is more about acknowledging the different ways we receive because we do not receive in the ways the world wants us to receive. Learning how you receive is a powerful, transformative exercise that will shift you in ways you cannot begin to imagine prior to embarking on it.
In what ways do you receive? How can you strengthen your receiving muscles? Perhaps, you too, need to only pay attention to and acknowledge all the ways you receive to recognize that you are receiving a lot more than the world believes you are. Give it a try. Let me know how it goes.
Because we need you to be fully ON in your gifts and for you to be fully ON in your gifts, it requires that you are receiving in equal amounts so you are not depleted and drained.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Look at that! You just received!
This article was originally written 3/6/2014; It has been edited and clarified to make for smoother reading and more concise topic.
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