I have an absolute, irrational fear of big bodies of water. It’s not the water, per se, that I fear, but rather what is in the water and the fact that the ground beneath my feet isn’t actually touching my feet; it’s somewhere deep below where I can’t see it and it’s far enough away that I have difficulty believing it is even there. If the big body of water is a fast moving river with white-crested rapids, I have a morbid curiosity that tinges the edges of my fear. I can stare for hours at a river and, if it is holding rubber rafts of screaming and thrilled teens, I can almost believe for a minute that it would be fun to be on that boat. If it is a flood, an unleashing of nature’s elemental force of water that has broken its bounds, I find myself unable to breathe while I watch in horror as the deluge engulfs the landscape. Floods… their violent, tumbling, grumbling onslaught are one of my worst fears.
But there is a kind of flood that I appreciate and love. That is the deluge that is a result of my personal tenacity. It is the cumulation of tiny steps in the direction of my Purpose. It is the eventual result after hours, days, weeks, months, and even years of purposeful activity that, at the time, may seem pointless because it doesn’t produce results right then. It is the moment when I look around and gasp, WOW! Look at what I’ve created! IT’S WORKING!
Over the last decade, I have learned. I have practiced. I have lived what I’m being taught. I’ve tried their programs. I’ve bent myself into their structures and systems, not quite ever fitting. And I’ve molded those same structures and systems into myself, never quite comfortably. I’ve healed. I’ve cried. I’ve laughed. And each and every day I have done at least one thing that moved me forward on my path to my Purpose, no matter how small. I did something.
At first, I wasn’t clear on my purpose. In fact, from 2002-2009, I was willy-nilly all over the board because I was unclear on what the hell I was doing, why I was here. I had a little bit of a notion, but I just bounced from river’s bank to bank to a reservoir where the dam was riddled with a web of fissures. Unbeknownst to me, I waited there, in the reservoir, floating about and telling myself that everything would be okay, even though I didn’t believe it would. Until, one day, in the summer of 2009, the dam cracked all the way through and I found myself facing into death again.
Back then, I didn’t write about all that I experienced in the darkness. I didn’t write about the Messenger I had spoken with, the choice I had been given, or the things I was shown. I didn’t share about my best friend, Jen, coming to my side and tying my Soul to me so that I was tethered to Earth until I chose into actually being here. I didn’t tell you that I chose to come back, instead of staying in the space of Brightness in which I visited that night. And I didn’t tell you why I chose to come back.
I came back because I finally saw my Purpose and I still wanted to fulfill it. I am here to Love. I am here to be Love. I am here to be a Messenger of Love. I am here to uplift humanity through Love. I am here to Heal and Inspire. And I am here to touch the hearts of Humankind. And I am here to share with others how to do the same.
It doesn’t have to take a near death experience for you to uncover your Purpose, but the most powerful thing you can do for yourself is to understand it and get in alignment with it in every aspect of your life. To have clarity about why you are here and what your mission is, to have it in writing, and placed before you is transformative. This continual reminder is a touchstone for you, something to come back to time and again and something by which you can weigh every decision, every change of direction, every relationship, every move. When you are clear on your purpose, then you have a tool that will never lead you astray; one question: “Is this in alignment with my Purpose?”
I always welcome your thoughts, questions, and comments. Feel free to jot down what you’re thinking in the comment box below.