The day dawned clear, blue skies, brilliant sun. I rose feeling a sense of anticipation and exhilaration. And this experience flowed through me with my first breath. For a moment, I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling so effervescent. And then I remembered… Today is a ME day.
Weeks ago, a dear friend and I had set into motion a plan that looked like us going for brunch and then up the mountain to submerge ourselves in hot pools, steam rooms, and saunas. We planned on relaxing in the solarium that faced south with floor to ceiling windows where we could watch the skiers and boarders sailing down the mountainside. We planned to meditate, go within, brainstorm, and simply be in the energy of abundance.
For me, abundance is not only about money. For me, abundance is being able to do the things I need and want to do when I need and want to do them. It means being physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially available to co-create with the Universe when I am delivered the very things I have been requesting.
When I wrote the script for my most recent Mind Transformation recording, I put in the following line: My every financial need and want is covered long before it needs to be.
This is very new thinking for me because so much of my interaction with money used to be from a space of lack, meaning I believed there wasn’t “enough” for me and that I was separate from what I needed. I often said things like, “As soon as I get money, it flies out the door,” or “I’m not good with money,” or “I don’t get money.” On that last one, I was meaning that I don’t understand it, but as you know, there is an entirely different definition of the word “get” and it means “to receive.” Soooo… yeah… can you see the misalignment of my beliefs in comparison to my definition of abundance?
This wonky belief system reared its lovely head this week as I sat down to pay my bills. I was grateful to discover there was plenty there waiting for me to pay my bills with money left over for gas and to support my decision to take a sacred ME day at a resort/spa in the mountains near my home. I was excited to see that and, in a split second, my brain screamed at me, “Buuuuuut… you are spending money as fast as it comes in. Look at that! It’s all gone. Annnnnnd… you really are being stupid by spending money on a spa day.”
I felt instantly sad.
Then, the next morning, I was talking with my best friend and she mentioned that she had faced into the same sort of experience. We laughed about how parallel our lessons often are. Then she said something that changed my life.
She said, “I had told the Universe that I was creating a specific amount of money for a very specific reason and when that money showed up, as I had requested, and I began beating myself up for spending it as fast as it came in, I heard, ‘I delivered the very thing you asked for.’ I suddenly understood that by beating myself up, I was actually beating up the Universe and I was also telling the Universe that I didn’t really want to create what I said I wanted to create.”
I was stunned. Oh my! YES! That is so true! I had manifested the money for all of my needs and wants long before the money needed to be there. I HAD DONE IT! Instantaneously, in less than a breath, my money beliefs transformed. And as they did, I was able to look around me and see the abundance everywhere, which was such an appropriate lesson for me to complete prior to my trip up the mountain to spend the day immersed in luxury.
I sat there, in the solarium, watching the skiers and boarders sailing down the mountainside and I sank into the richness of it all. I opened my heart and received, often with tears in my eyes because I had actually manifested my desires! My sweet friend gifted me entrance to the spa, which I didn’t discover until we were standing at the check-in desk. Such a beautiful gift that allowed me to follow my impulses further because my wallet was more abundant later in the day than I had originally estimated it would be. So, when I got hungry, I ordered a burger from room service because I knew I needed animal protein. Without even looking at the price, I just said “I want a cheeseburger!” and everything in my body said, “YES!” It ended up being the most expensive burger I’ve ever ordered – triple the highest price of what I had previously paid for a burger, but it didn’t matter; it was what I wanted and needed.
Then I invited myself into a stretch – I ate that cheeseburger while I sat alone in the middle of a fancy place… all by myself at a little table surrounded by people who were with other people. Even though my friend was at the other end of the solarium relaxing, I was at that table, eating alone. And… ya know what… that burger was the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten on a perfectly crunchy-toasty-buttery fancy bun with a gorgeous side salad. Absolute perfection with every bite. Even eating alone was perfect.
Stretching myself over and over by doing things that I wouldn’t normally do resulted that day in an experience of pure transformation, abundance, and immense gratitude.
Self-care, choosing you, stretching yourself… these are all very empowering practices and are ways that you fall in love with yourself. They are practices that result in lifelong transformation that is sustainable because it comes from within you. No one gives it to you, so no one can take it away. It is yours and yours alone.
How will you love on yourself today?
© Angie K. Millgate 2/23/14
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