Throughout my life, I’ve had numerous people say, “You really need to practice discernment.”
When I hear them say such things, I feel frustrated because… well… I know myself well enough… if I “need” to be doing something that is for my benefit then I WILL be doing that something if – and that is a really big I-F – I know how to do it. If I don’t know how to do it or understand the concept – even if I have tricked myself into believing I do – well, then, there is no hope of me ever figuring it out on my own.
So… discernment is up again for me. It came up in a very tender session yesterday wherein I discovered that, yet again, I have placed my trust in the hands of someone who was not worthy to hold that trust. It is an ongoing pattern of mine to place my trust in those who eventually say/do something that results in my heart and self-belief to shatter in all different directions, leaving me weak and broken and oh so very sad. It confirms over and over my inability to discern when I trust someone and they turn out to be someone who violates that trust – especially when it is people of power like teachers, mentors and authority figures.
I looked up discernment on dictionary.com today: