(Thoughts from 8/3/12) I’ve started out on my journey into the physical portion of the commitment and woke this morning feeling so excited and thrilled to be going. I felt jubilant at the thought of sharing so much time with Jen and Kait and Wendy in Sanctuary in the mountains of Colorado. The morning started bright and early – after only 5 hours of sleep – and I feel so alive. Kait and I headed out of the house at 8:18am… pretty close to on time for me… we made a stop at Walmart so I could get sunglass clip-ons and then we were off.
The drive was uneventful and flowed smoothly. We made a stop at the beautiful rest stop in Price Canyon. It is a historical monument, the spot of the Williams and Powell ranch homestead. There is a train engine on display, a miniature replica of a water tower and a grand barn-stall-like display of interesting plaques of information. It’s a well-kept rest stop, covered with trees and lots of shaded grass and nestled in the white-gray sandy mountains,.
I know all this because Kait and I are “stuck” here, waiting for Kendal. See, about ¾ miles up the road from here, my car lost power and suddenly all systems died. I pulled the car over to the side of the road, turned it off and tried, futilely, to restart it. I prayed and tried again. Prayed and tried again. Nothing. Well, not nothing. It starts, but it doesn’t’ “connect.
I’m aware of the irony that, on the way to an event that I’m so excited about, I suddenly lost power and can’t reconnect. I’m aware of what that sounds like.
When I called Jen from the pay phone here – thank God they have a pay phone and that, by using it, I didn’t get zapped into some alternate universe – she said she had just been washing dishes when she dropped her Wicked mug and broke it. She could feel something was up and went to light some candles. She found 5 candles, put some oils on them and went to light them when my call came through.
So, I’m sitting here feeling a little uncomfortable since my thoughts, the first time we were here, were, “This is such a beautiful rest stop. I wonder if anyone ever stops and appreciates its beauty.”
We are here. Appreciating its beauty. Might as well find the joy in a situation that could be painful instead.
I recorded a video to upload later. I wanted to catch my emotions in the moment. I went through the anger and, on the other side was sadness. I broke into tears and Kaitlyn said, “Oh momma, I’m sorry. I was wondering when the tears were going to come.” She just hugged me while the tears fell and the sadness passed.
Feeling grateful for the beauty around me, I sit on the cool grass and enjoy the breeze. I write. I watch the flags dancing on the wind. I listen to the lawn mower on the other side of the complex. I hear the wind in the leaves and the cars rushing by. I hear the kids playing and getting excited about the train. I watch my beautiful daughter soaking in the sun. I smell the scent of freshly mown grass and damp earth. I watch busy ants going about their work and swallows darting this way and that, in and out of their amazing nests built on vertical surfaces. I watch the tiny gray snake skittering and winding along the sidewalk and my daughter following his every move.
All in all, I feel really blessed. This could have been much worse. Kaitlyn and I could be choosing to be stuck in anger and hating it, rather than choosing to sink into the moment and take time to witness the beauty all around us and ponder the wonder of it all.
Kaitlyn just said, “Too bad monkeys are not native to North America.”
I laughed and looked up from my shady, grassy spot to her where she’s lounging on the bench in the sun, “Random!”
“Well, I was just thinking,” she says matter-of-factly, “It would be really cool to watch them playing in that tree there.”
It’s a choice to look at it this way. It’s a choice to be grateful for the wind blowing through the mountain to cool off the heat of the day. It’s a choice to be grateful for the beauty around me in a time of inconvenience. It is a choice to hear the beauty in the songs of the bird whom is hidden in that tree and just suddenly burst out singing. It’s a choice to watch the butterflies that have just appeared.
And right now, in this moment, I feel so richly blessed. That is also a choice.