Life sometimes shifts in ways that are unexpected and surprising in the direction it moves you.
Sometimes, things that seemed to be heading in a permanent direction actually take a sharp right turn and slam into a brick wall at the dead end of a short alley. Sometimes, things that appear to be fleeting end up having phenomenal longevity. It happens with everything… jobs, relationships, living arrangements… all of life is change.
I used to hold on, even after I saw signs of the impending crash, for the entire ride and then would wonder why I was shattered. The shattering happens, I know now, when I choose to ignore my nudges and just stay there, holding on for dear life to something that is no longer serving me, no longer healthy for me, or no longer adding to my joy. Because I had deemed it as something I wanted to have in my life forever, I grasped onto it and squeezed for all I was worth, way beyond the brick wall and the inherent pain of that brick wall.
What I am now realizing is this… letting go is the kindest thing I can do for myself.
The other thing I’m discovering is… those things that seem fleeting… well… there is some incredible magic in those things and I was missing a lot of them because I judged them to be short-lived and therefore didn’t open up fully to be with the “short term” thing.
When I chose, finally, to honor myself and say “enough” to several situations and move on, magic began to unfold all around me. Now, I am sampling life and magic in places I had never imagined I would find it before and my life feels richer and more vibrant and… much more expansive.
Rather than limiting myself to saying yes to only “long lasting” things, I am choosing into what is presented to me in each moment, which has been all at once exciting, eye-opening, heart-rending, peaceful, sorrowful, joyful, and exquisite.
In truth, “long lasting” or “short lasting” is all just a perception. There is no such thing as “happily ever after” or “forever and ever” because NOW is all there is. And, I guess you can twist your mind around and say that if you are present for NOW, then you are actually IN the forever and ever because every moment… now… now… now… it’s all part of the eternity. And, really, since all we have is NOW, it doesn’t really matter whether “it” is going to last or not… whether “it” is a job or a relationship or a living arrangement or whatever. All that matters is that I was present for it, I chose Love through it, and I lived it fully. Really. That IS all that matters.
I feel so grateful and relaxed with this new understanding. Even though I have heard this message for nearly two decades now, it is just within the last couple months that it has began settling into my knowing. And in that settling, there is profound peace.