When you have an issue or a behavioral pattern you are noticing in YOURSELF that is being triggered through interaction with another, talking about that issue or even ranting and raving about that issue with someone you trust – preferably a coach or therapist – can be a very beneficial, clearing process. As humans, we NEED to be able to vent the human emotion so we can get underneath it to find the nugget that needs to be healed. “Conscious Bitching” is the process of venting the ego talk that is mucking up your mind so you can get to clarity and accountability, so you can get to YOUR issue. This sort of work is NEVER about the other person you are griping about.
If a “friend” talks trash to you on a regular basis about other people – mean, spiteful, gossiping – this is NOT processing. It is NOT healing. It is NOT beneficial. It is NOT “Conscious Bitching.” It’s meanness. At the time, their attitude doesn’t hurt you because you are not the focal point of their pettiness, but you can be sure that the “friend” speaks the same way about you when you are not in their presence.
If you’re hanging with people who have a tendency to blame, point fingers, and say mean things about everyone, I invite you to ask yourself, “Is THAT the kind of friend *I* am or want to be?” Because you DO become the amalgamation of the people you hang with.