This weekend, I went out of town to spend time with my mom, sister, and nephews. We drove to #Yellowstone for Mother’s Day and I had the honor of seeing a mama grizzly bear that was overseeing her two rumbling-tumbling-play-battling bear cubs in a meadow across the river from me, no more than fifty yards away. Watching them stand on their hind legs and bat at each other’s face and then collapse upon one another and roll around was so delightful!
I knew I was going to see bears that day, I could feel it. I kept saying that I could feel the animals around and my oldest nephew was really curious about that, asking me what that meant. Describing how wolves “feel” versus bears was a really cool exercise and I loved that he asked me that so I could put into words how it felt.
On the way home from Yellowstone, we sang at the top of our lungs and laughed and laughed and laughed. I laughed for so long and so hard, my face muscles ached. It was the best kind of ache.
She fed us delicious, homemade food all weekend. I slept in her beautiful office surrounded by all the makings and markings of her successful 10 years as an outdoor journalist, absorbing what it felt like for her to work so hard, be so successful, and drinking in all that entailed. My hair was continually wind-tangled. My face is now pink, kissed by the sun. And my spirits were lifted in ways I cannot even describe.
By the time I left my sister’s house yesterday afternoon, I was rejuvenated and restored. I felt light and full of possibility. I felt completely capable and excited about life. I have been so dark and enveloped with stress that the contrast of light was a welcomed reprieve. I knew, as soon as it was possible for me to go up there, that I HAD to go. I NEEDED to get out from under the Dome of Zion and find breathing space again.
This morning, within an hour of waking, I was inundated by heaviness and drama and strife. In less than 60 minutes, all the joy that I had reaccumulated in my reserves was zapped.
Something HAS GOT TO CHANGE and soon.