Last night, I attended a lovely Cacao ceremony. I have had many opportunities to attend such events and have always heard people gushing with feedback about the magic of this plant medicine, the sensations of their heart opening and sparkling. I’ve heard tales of becoming love, expanding with awareness of love, and feeling so expansively loving that people believe they’re going to burst.
I’ve never had an experience like that after drinking ceremonial Cacao. But I wanted to. I figured, last night’s opportunity would be THE night that I experienced it, given that my sweet friend, Jayme was hosting it.
I smelled it. I blessed it. I drank it. I munched on the crunchy bits of cacao within the depths of the darkness of my mug. I played with the energy of it. I got curious.
And I waited.
“I’m broken,” I thought. My lifelong jump-to came up and I shook it off, refusing to allow myself to succumb to that lie once again.
So, as Jayme guided us through a meditation, I allowed my mind and spirit to wander away from the path everyone else was walking. I was seeking a dramatic experience of explosive love and I needed to be away from the herd to do so, I believed.
Finding a dark and quiet spot deep within my solitary jungle, I asked, “Dear Cacao, why do I not feel your magical powers? Am I blocking you?”
Instantly, Dr. Wayne Dyer’s words came to me as clearly as if he were standing beside me, “If you’re already in Philadelphia, you don’t need to take a bus to get to Philadelphia.”
I laughed in my visualization, bent over and chuckling so hard that tears rushed down my mental face. In real life, a small giggle escaped my lips. I couldn’t help it. The rush of awareness was so profound that I needed to give it sound.
I have never experienced a loving shift and heart opening in *any* of the many Cacao ceremonies I have participated in. And there is a reason for this. It was not because I was blocking the medicine but because that “new” open, loving, and sparkling space that others rave about IS my existence.
Thank you, Dear Cacao for THAT opening! And for the reminder that I AM, indeed, LOVE!