As an author, it is a startling experience to sit down in front of this here computer and discover that I am completely without words to describe all that is going on within, but I know as soon as I start writing it’s going to all pour out cuz… well… that’s how I roll. I realize that the Ignite Your Spark 2011 event this weekend has profoundly changed my life in ways I have yet to completely understand. I feel empowered and vulnerable, tender and raw, uncovered and discovered, and so grounded in the huge shifts that I took on this weekend. I feel hopeful and as though I’ve danced with, sang with, cried with, laughed with, learned with, grew with, stretched with, walked with, listened to and hugged the most powerful angels on earth.
This divine experience was a huge gift from Miss Gina Anderson, one of the owners of the Migun Wellness Center who invited me to join as an independent practitioner in the Migun booth at the show, as well as attend the classes. No greater gift could she have given me than to offer me the opportunity to reach out, touch and then embrace my future, bring it into me and absorb it. I will be forever grateful to her for the integral part she played in my transformation.
I surprised myself with my ability to stand in a space of over 200 people and be WITH ME. Even though I was there with three other women from Migun, I chose to go it on my own. It was a liberating experience to walk to the bathroom alone – cuz, ya know, women always go to the bathroom (for some reason) with a gaggle of girls in tow – and meet these amazing women along the way. I found joy in being willing to stand on the stage, in the spotlight, tears running down my face after the spontaneously inspired experience led by the incomparable Angela Johnson, founder of Ignite Your Spark, wherein I had whispered into my ears the very things I needed most to hear. I found myself there, on the second floor of the Radisson Hotel in a string of events that I could have never imagined Friday morning on the drive to the hotel. Now, I cannot imagine anything less.
I experienced the physical sensation of what it is like to really shine my light from within, without the intention of doing so, but because I was so full of joy and love, there was no way for it to not shine. I saw what happened with I followed my impulses and touched the lives of the women and men who I was divinely guided to touch. I saw what happened when I delivered the powerful messages that coursed through me and pulsed out into the room with dynamic, metamorphosing waves of love. I felt what it felt like to connect with some of the biggest, influential people from across the nation – people who are changing this world, people who are like me and see that this world needs what we are bringing it. I felt what it felt like to hear myself think during the first hour of being there, “MAN! This is AMAZING! These women and men are powerful and I’m so glad I am here!” and then… to breathe and let that last part sink into my body… I AM HERE! As those words settled in, the dawning knowledge sparked to life with me: *I* AM ONE OF THE PEOPLE HERE! And the revolution within began for me.
Going into this weekend, I was a caterpillar in the chrysalis stage wrapped tightly and disintegrating. I hadn’t yet understood that I was going to turn into a butterfly. I simply had done what I intuitively needed to do without knowing the why of it. Then, as I stood before the room full of beautiful people and declared, “I commit to easefully completing the process of stepping into my power so that I can be with myself fully in love and then with each of you,” I felt the chrysalis begin to crack. When I had stepped up to the microphone, I had had to adjust it for my height. I had giggled and said, “Ummm… I’m a little short,” as I did so. The room had filled with loving chuckles. Then I had closed my eyes, took a deep breath and said, “I’m going to state my intention as a commitment.” Another deep breath… and then I spoke my commitment.
Something moved in me that I couldn’t place until I sat down and Ms. Marilyn Sorenson, one of the captivating emcees, got up and began speaking. She said, “Angie, darling, you’re not short. You’re snack sized!”
I laughed and felt joy and love with the rest of the room, but inside my world was exploding in delightful colors and patterns… she knows my name??? She recognized me??? She said my name over the p.a. system for the entire room to hear who I am??? She knows who I am???
Truthfully, I had no idea that Marilyn knew who I was. She and I had met a couple times in a women’s business networking group I used to attend and we’re Facebook buddies, but I didn’t know she knew me and recognized me like I did her. I think I actually gasped softly when she said my name. In that moment, I felt what it felt like to be recognized. I felt curiously strange as the chrysalis faded away and my wings began to unfold and I began to fully realize for the first time in my life what my future holds.
I had so many connecting, life-changing experiences like connecting with one of my writing mentors, Ms. Tiffany Berg, and feeling the overwhelming joy and love for her and all she has been through over the last five years since we’ve seen one another. She changed my life, helped me find direction on my book, Above the Clouds, and inspired me to get it out there so the world can start benefiting from it. And when I saw her walk into the room, I immediately started crying with so much love for her. It was a powerful experience… especially as I watched all the people I am connected to because I am connected to her…
Then to sit beside another woman who flipped my world upside down, Ms. Carol Pope. When she crossed my path, I burst into tears of joy again. The first and only time I’ve been near her was in that women’s group where I met Marilyn. Carol spoke the first time I attended and she impressed me with her delicious combination of petite femininity, soft voice and strong assertiveness and confidence. She sang for us, an impromptu a’capella number that she had not planned on doing and, when she did, I cried with the perfection of it. I’ve thought of her often and have wished I could be her client… she is a $1000/hour coach that teaches you to ask the tough questions so that you can create a prosperous life. Before this weekend, I couldn’t imagine how I could afford to work with her. Now I think the possibilities are limitless. I sat beside her purely by divine guidance on her part and we got to connect, relate and transform together, side by side. Suddenly, I saw myself as equal to a $1000/hour coach and my eyes opened to the beauty of who I am. Then, later that night, I had the humbling experience of offering her a Phoenix Blessing and then kneeling at her feet to share the messages from heaven and connect on a soul-to-soul level that changed me, yet again.
On Saturday morning, they asked us to share some of the transformations people were experiencing and Carol got up first. She was standing tall for the first time in 5 weeks after she injured her right knee. After my Phoenix Blessing and working with an acupuncturist directly after it, her knee was healed. She spoke to that and, again, I was asked to stand and be recognized for who I am. Here’s the interesting thing… as word spread about ME, who I am and my gifts, people started coming up to me out of nowhere and asking, “I would love a Phoenix Blessing. Do you have time?” The first time it happened, I was breathless with the experience of the recognition. It was startling, humbling and mystifying to me. What? Why me? I’m just Angie. What is so important about me? However, the more it happened, the more I understood that that is what is supposed to be happening all along. Heaven has just been waiting for me to get out of my own way.
For years, my guides, my meditations and my answers from God have all said: Angie, you have a divine powerful purpose. You are MEANT to be here doing what you do. And you are MEANT to do it NOW! You are the only one who can. Why are you not?
Why am I not? I was scared. Scared about the recognition. Scared about not being enough or doing it right. I was scared no one would like me or would like me for the wrong reasons. I was scared I couldn’t trust myself. I was scared… scared… scared. But the truth is, when I started BEING me because there was no one to hide behind and no one to compare myself to, then it was surprisingly effortless. When I allowed myself to follow my impulses and offer to place my hands upon somebody, WITHOUT FAIL that person had a HUGE shift. When I followed my intuition and connected with someone, I was transformed and so were they. They would look in my eyes and KNOW they had been seen, they had been heard and their prayers had been answered. ALL IN LESS THAN 5 MINUTES!!!
There were so many humbling, awe-inspiring moments for me… to kneel at the feet of Ms. Tiffany Walke Peterson and share a few quiet, calming, strengthening moments with her in a Phoenix Blessing and divine messages that came through me and were meant only for her. To have her come up to me the next morning, put her arms around me and totally blow me away with the request, “How can *I* be of service to *you*? Can I send you clients? Do you want access to my network? What do you need? How can I serve you?” I was speechless, moved, humbled, honored. A myriad of emotions.
To have many women walking up with their hands clasped in another’s and say to her friend, “THIS is Angie. She’s the one I was telling you about. The one who does the Phoenix Blessings.”
To have a woman I’ve never met pick up my book with tears in her eyes and say, “Is this you?! I found your website the other day. I was reading the preview of your book. I was so touched by it and wanted to know more. And… this is you?!! You’re standing right here before me right now! I can’t believe this!”
To be able to connect on a deeper level with Gina, Karen and Katie – three of the beautiful people I work with at Migun.
To listen to Ms. Suzanne Evans powerfully moving presentation and KNOW that, while I agreed wholeheartedly with what she had to say, I am NOT ready to be her client because of how tough she is. To be able to give myself permission to say, “Working with her is a NO for me. My heart is still too tender after my last aggressive coaching experience. I am NOT ready,” was a HUGE milestone for me. Rather than judging myself for being a wimp, I honored my feelings and accepted it.
To follow my impulses and intuition every. single. time. even when they didn’t make sense or gave me a moment’s pause wherein I judged myself harshly, but did it anyway, was inspiring.
To have people come up to me and say, “I want to know YOU. I want YOU to be in my friends circle. I want YOU to be a part of my life,” was stunning.
Being able to connect one-on-one with Mr. Sean Smith several times throughout the weekend and to feel his gentle, loving authenticity. To release myself in an instant in his break-out seminar and KNOW that I would never be able to go back to how I once was. To have him share with me his vulnerabilities and feel myself connect with him on a deep, soul-to-soul level.
To take quiet moments alone with Angela and Marilyn each to share love and appreciation.
To watch the fire in the eyes of the people for whom I stopped before them and said, “I have an appreciation for you…”
To be an integral part in Heidi Novak’s amazing transformational process in Angela Johnson’s breakout session. I had the honor and opportunity to be the proxy for her “bad mother” judgments of herself in relation to her daughter. This was HUGE HUGE HUGE for me and I will feel forever grateful to her for her vulnerability and willingness to have Angela coach her through the process in front of the entire group.
To connect with Ms. Annette Mease, several times one-on-one and be a demo in her seminar and feel myself land solidly in the change I had created for myself in Sean’s session. To sit in total awe of her electrifying personality and KNOW that she knew what she was talking about and had the keys to unlocking my financial abundance. To yearn to work with her – another $1000/hour coach – and having no idea how that would ever work. Then for her to seek me out on Saturday and say, “I came to this event KNOWING there were two women I needed to find for my master-mind group. You are one of them. I want YOU in my group. Are you ready?” To stand before her, listening to her request and knowing that was my next step, feeling terrified and holding onto her hand as she told me the cost of the program and I nearly, literally, passed out. Having her be present with me and hold me up and assure me with strength of conviction that I’ve never experienced before and to cry with the knowledge that SHE was going to be part of support team was humbling and exciting and scary all at the same time. To know that SHE wanted ME to be in her group… that SHE sought me out… out of all of the people there this weekend *I* was the one she was looking for… oh… my… god…
Even now as I write all this and go over in my mind the myriad of doors I walked through, I feel so much overflowing love for myself. I cry with the memories of all I accomplished this weekend. I love myself for being brave and doing this on my own. I love myself for taking on the incredible commitments I took on, without having the “how” to do so and yet knowing that it will all be provided. I love myself for stepping so far out of my comfort zone that I couldn’t even see the boundaries. I love myself for reaching out, following my intuition, for dancing when no one else would, for walking through the halls alone and, yet, so NOT alone. I love myself for stepping fully into my power and embracing my beauty, my gifts, my divine right to heal myself and others, my ability to see and hear and touch that which others cannot. I love myself for speaking my truths, for being vulnerable, for being powerful, for transforming that room. I love myself for being present for the people there who I watched change right before my eyes, who told me they would never be the same because of my work, who told others of their experience. I love myself for being that, for doing that. I love myself for walking through each and every door of change and closing it soundly behind me. And I really love myself for standing up tall in the face of immense fear and going forward anyway.
I learned so much about myself and feel so much love for myself and the gentle woman that I am. I love that I’m able to BE with another person for a brief time and they walk away changed. I love that one of the last things I heard was from Julie, one of the photographers and entertainers at the event, who channeled a direct answer from God without knowing she was doing it and never having done anything like that before, “I’ve watched you and have watched the people around you. I’ve witnessed you leaving little drops of healing on every single person you’ve touched and I KNOW you have changed everyone here. You are a huge gift and humanity needs you, Angie. Do not shrink back. It is time to step up.”
I hear You. I see You. Every single experience I had this weekend was absolutely what I needed at the exact right moment. I heard what I have longed to hear for my whole life. I saw what I have always wanted to see. I felt what I have yearned for as long as I can remember. YES! I am ready. Hear my voice. I! AM! HERE!