I often think about that… you needed me. I look back on my life and see those whom I have thought loved me deeply and seemed to need me. Back then.

What does it mean to “need” someone? Is that a good thing? Do I really want to be needed?

Going on ten years now that I have been divorced and there has been no significant romantic relationships during that time. No one has needed me during that time. Oh, granted, my daughter has needed me day in and day out. But there has been no man that has needed me.

Need… need… need… what does that mean? I looked it up on http://www.dictionary.com/ and discovered…

need –noun

1. a requirement, necessary duty, or obligation: There is no need for you to go there.
2. a lack of something wanted or deemed necessary: to fulfill the needs of the assignment.
3. urgent want, as of something requisite: He has no need of your charity.
4. necessity arising from the circumstances of a situation or case: There is no need to worry.
5. a situation or time of difficulty; exigency: to help a friend in need; to be a friend in need.
6. a condition marked by the lack of something requisite: the need for leadership.
7. destitution; extreme poverty: The family’s need is acute.

–verb (used with object)

8. to have need of; require: to need money.

–verb (used without object)

9. to be under an obligation (used as an auxiliary, typically in an interrogative or in a negative statement, and fol. by infinitive, in certain cases without to; in the 3d pers. sing. the form is need, not needs): He need not go.
10. to be in need or want.
11. to be necessary: There needs no apology.

12. if need be, should the necessity arise: If need be, I can type the letters myself.
[Origin: bef. 900; (n.) ME nede, OE néd (WSaxon nīed), c. G Not, ON nauth, Goth nauths; (v.) ME neden, OE néodian, deriv. of the n.]

needer, noun

2, 3. See lack. 3. requirement. 4. Need, necessity imply a want, a lack, or a demand, which must be filled. Need, a word of Old English origin, has connotations that make it strong in emotional appeal: the need to be appreciated. Necessity, a word of Latin origin, is more formal and impersonal or objective; though much stronger than need in expressing urgency or imperative demand, it is less effective in appealing to the emotions: Water is a necessity for living things. 5. emergency. 7. neediness, indigence, penury, privation. See poverty. 8. want, lack.
7. wealth.

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

Hmmmmmmm…. after reading that, I have discovered that “need” is not a nice thing. It sounds icky and mostly like it will never be fulfilled…

Perhaps, after all, it is a blessing that you didn’t need me…

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